no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
