i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
