At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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