She is in my trunk
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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