If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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