I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
