Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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