There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
