C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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