My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
