hell yes lets make some ravioli
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
