I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
