Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
