I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
