trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You were trust falling into bushes
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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