He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
