i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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