Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
