How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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