Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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