Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
