I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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