the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
