Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
