She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
