Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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