I hate your face
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
