Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
