we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
