dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
