I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
