the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
