I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
