I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
