do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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