we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
