Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize