carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
