So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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