my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
