She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
