u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
