doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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