well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I cut my penus on the lid.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
