he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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