is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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