How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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