i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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