White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
