I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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